Tiara Me Sue

I set up my treadmill today. - I can already feel the fear and panic emanating from you that those words evoke. Susie is exercising? Has hell frozen over? What next? Is she going to start cooking? (God, no!) Relax, nothing crazy will come of this. I will not start buying spandex workout wear and videoing my ass while I jog (because there will be no jogging, I guarantee you that). I will not post times or speed, or brag about what a great workout I got today. The treadmill is a means to an end; any health benefits are truly way down the list of what I wanted one for – I can be honest about that (besides, anyone who knows my eating habits knows that). Two of my favorite relaxing pastimes are driving and walking. I’m lucky enough to drive for a job-needed-to-support-me-while-I-work-on-what-I-really-want-to-do-in-my-‘spare’-time, but I don’t have enough time to take a walk when I feel like it – plus, I live in New England; ¾ of the year I don’t have the choice to even ...

Certain little things are big things to me; the jewelry I wear and the color of my nail polish always mean something. Facebook reminded me of a blog post I wrote two years ago today regarding the significance of my jewelry; I didn't read it again, because I remembered the events of the night that prompted it. I was thinking about it, though, as I repainted my nails tonight. I painted them at the beginning of last week, using what I consider my 'signature' shade of pink, but a softer, baby pink and I was aware that the quieter shade than my usual was indicative of an excitement I was trying to keep somewhat tempered. Wear the color that gives me confidence, but keep it low-key. Fear. My nails and my jewelry (rings, specifically) are little big details to me because I see my hands all the time; on a steering wheel, on a keyboard, or holding a pen on a piece of paper. Seeing something that means something positive to me, or just seeing something shiny or sparkly makes...

This morning I decided that my day off would be mostly devoted to things I wanted to get done, rather than things I had to get done. (Mostly. I can’t leave everything unattended.) Even if my next day off is spent grumbling about having to finally get to the have-tos-that-I-should-have-done-sooner, I deserve a break; have-tos on the day off only make it another work day.  I chose to organize my writing/craft area so that when I do have free time, I’ll be able to just get into whatever project I want to work on. Instead of music, I decided to listen to an audiobook. I will not give the title away because it doesn’t matter, but I will say the book falls under the broad ‘Self-Help’ category, having to do with the also-broad subjects of creativity and bravery. The subject matter had to do with ideas I’d written about in my blog and enjoy thinking about – a rather funny thought, that what I write may be considered self-help, although I will admit writing about certain things hel...

Both feet She made a choice She decided to jump in all in with both feet excitedly but nobody seemed to care that she jumped and the water was colder than she expected she made her way to the edge exuberance waning as she climbed the ladder to get out she took one last look at the pool still seeing how nice it could have been then lifted herself out wishing she’d just toed in ******** I wrote “Both Feet” a number of years ago and forgot about it until something brought it to the front of my mind again. I wrote it under different circumstances than what made me think about it now, but found myself happy to be in contact with words that were able to express my feelings – much in the same way I can find comfort in a song that has lyrics I can relate to. Outside of whatever the feelings are now, I’m taking a little pride in that I have that same ability as the songwriters I both envy and rely on for comfort to be able to effectively express certain emotions in such a wa...

I love that metaphorical idiom of the proverbial ‘elephant in the room’ – the large presence of something obvious that no one wants to discuss. It can be anything: a political issue, a negative possibility of a circumstance, a well-known secret, or anything we don’t want to face. I have my own personal elephant that I’ve been maneuvering around for about 25 years. I haven’t named it, which is odd because I even have a name for that one stubborn hair on my chin that keeps coming back (that’s Ernie). It’s because I haven’t named it that I know it’s an elephant; it would only need a name if I talked about it – not that I really talk about my chin hair; it’s more of an acknowledgment. Hi, Ernie. Bye, Ernie! My own elephant has to do with my smile – or, rather, lack of it. I have bad teeth. That may not seem like much to you, but it is to me – and I’ve only realized just how much the closer I come to getting it all taken care of. My parents had dental issues, and it looked like th...