Tiara Me Sue

  IN PASSING My father and I had different ideas about memorializing our loved ones. Let’s face it; we had different ideas about EVERYTHING. On the anniversaries of the deaths of his parents and those that were special to him/us, my brother and sister and I would receive emails from him with the words “IN LOVING MEMORY OF” and the birth and death dates of our dearly departed. I, on the other hand, could never remember – would never remember the dates of a loved one’s death; I prefer instead to honor the date someone showed up rather than the date they left.  I can’t celebrate the day someone leaves, and to me a constant validation of it, while not celebratory , does indeed celebrate it by marking it above all others. The only time I would openly acknowledge – validate – a passing would be the very first anniversary, because the first re-living of a moment is the most potent, and while it’s preferable (and much more beneficial) to relive the happy times, the negative i...

I’m sure most of you have lived in a place where at one time you had a seasonal problem with some type of insect. In the many different places I’ve lived, I’ve had issues with ants (the teeny, teeny ones), ants (the big and crunchy ones), and in one house one year we had an infestation of wasps after they built their home in the eaves (where my apartment and storage closet were). I’ve been in this same apartment now for seven years, and almost every year right about this time of June, July, and August I have a problem with flies. Have you ever tried to sleep with a mosquito in the room? This is worse than that. The funny thing is, it hasn’t been every year; maybe it’s been closer to every other year. Either way, I now own 3 fly swatters (that are hanging strategically around the apartment), 2 tennis racket-shaped, battery-operated bug zappers – - those tennis racket zappers are fun! (Hell, you need something fun about a situation as annoying as this is.) Killing f...

I’ll never forget the day my elementary school-aged daughter decided to paint green stripes in her hair for school. The day we went out to get the hair dye was full of excitement; she couldn’t wait to get home and read the instructions so that when it was time to fix her hair before school in the morning, she would be ready. She had trouble sleeping the night before because she was so excited. And my normally-hard-to-wake-up child was up and dressed before me. Because we were up so early we were ready early, and she spent that last half hour before we were able to leave for school admiring herself in the mirror and dancing around. And her smile! She loved how it looked, and she loved having that look for herself! As parents, we cherish those completely-happy-in-the-moment moments our children have, don’t we? I started my day just as happy as she was, because there is NOTHING better than seeing someone else truly happy – especially when it’s your own child. And she came home...

I remember January 1994 quite well. Winter had already settled in and it seemed we were getting a new batch of snow every Monday, except for this week. The snow started Tuesday night around 10 pm and buried the car enough that by 2 am Wednesday morning when we had to rush out of the house, we had to call a cab. I was grateful for that, because I had the taxi meter to help time my contractions. The shitty driving conditions were actually helpful, too; I spent most of my active labor during the 6.6-mile ride in the cab so when I got to the hospital almost an hour and a half later things were well enough underway that by the time I was cowboyed up in the stirrups the ride was over. Boom! I was a mother. That was twenty-six years ago. That baby, my daughter, my firstborn, is now 26. What’s funny is that I was 26 years old when I had her. She is now the same age I was when I became a mother. I am exactly twice her age right now. All kids seem to think that their paren...

12 THE GOD I SERVE Common rules of etiquette discourage discussions of politics or religion in polite company. While I’ve never been considered ‘polite company’ and my adherence to any form of etiquette is usually questionable, I have learned that if I want to get along with people in general, it is helpful to keep that guideline in mind. Unfortunately, there are times when it is unavoidable; people are who they are because of their beliefs. I can avoid the subject of politics easily enough because my belief (or current disbelief) in my country’s choice of president has nothing to do with who I am, but my ‘religious’ (for lack of a better word) beliefs do. When what I do, say or am comes into question, the answer always tunnels down to my beliefs and my religion – or presumed lack of. Religion, faith, and beliefs are wonderful to have – and we all do, whether or not any of us realize we are acting on them; they are all basically the same idea, too, but the word ‘religion’ seems...

My child has a job at a pizza place taking phone orders.   Tonight a call came in from an extremely rude customer, who was angry and swearing from the get-go. At one point, he was asked to hold on a moment because B had to put in his credit card number a second time because one number was wrong. The customer was politely asked to ‘hold on a moment; I made a mistake with your card number and have to put in in again.‘ His response was to yell, “Oh, yeah, that’s the problem; maybe you should go home and study next time!” If you’ve ever spoken to my child and heard her voice – especially over the phone – you KNOW you are speaking to a child and not an adult – and this jackass thinks he has the right to speak to a minor like that? I asked B if she told her manager about this customer, and she said no. When I asked why, she said, “Because I made a mistake.” This bothers me. First of all, I think my child needs to stand up for herself a little more in general; I have always ...