Tiara Me Sue

I’ll never forget the day my elementary school-aged daughter decided to paint green stripes in her hair for school. The day we went out to get the hair dye was full of excitement; she couldn’t wait to get home and read the instructions so that when it was time to fix her hair before school in the morning, she would be ready. She had trouble sleeping the night before because she was so excited. And my normally-hard-to-wake-up child was up and dressed before me. Because we were up so early we were ready early, and she spent that last half hour before we were able to leave for school admiring herself in the mirror and dancing around. And her smile! She loved how it looked, and she loved having that look for herself! As parents, we cherish those completely-happy-in-the-moment moments our children have, don’t we? I started my day just as happy as she was, because there is NOTHING better than seeing someone else truly happy – especially when it’s your own child. And she came home...

I remember January 1994 quite well. Winter had already settled in and it seemed we were getting a new batch of snow every Monday, except for this week. The snow started Tuesday night around 10 pm and buried the car enough that by 2 am Wednesday morning when we had to rush out of the house, we had to call a cab. I was grateful for that, because I had the taxi meter to help time my contractions. The shitty driving conditions were actually helpful, too; I spent most of my active labor during the 6.6-mile ride in the cab so when I got to the hospital almost an hour and a half later things were well enough underway that by the time I was cowboyed up in the stirrups the ride was over. Boom! I was a mother. That was twenty-six years ago. That baby, my daughter, my firstborn, is now 26. What’s funny is that I was 26 years old when I had her. She is now the same age I was when I became a mother. I am exactly twice her age right now. All kids seem to think that their paren...

12 THE GOD I SERVE Common rules of etiquette discourage discussions of politics or religion in polite company. While I’ve never been considered ‘polite company’ and my adherence to any form of etiquette is usually questionable, I have learned that if I want to get along with people in general, it is helpful to keep that guideline in mind. Unfortunately, there are times when it is unavoidable; people are who they are because of their beliefs. I can avoid the subject of politics easily enough because my belief (or current disbelief) in my country’s choice of president has nothing to do with who I am, but my ‘religious’ (for lack of a better word) beliefs do. When what I do, say or am comes into question, the answer always tunnels down to my beliefs and my religion – or presumed lack of. Religion, faith, and beliefs are wonderful to have – and we all do, whether or not any of us realize we are acting on them; they are all basically the same idea, too, but the word ‘religion’ seems...

My child has a job at a pizza place taking phone orders.   Tonight a call came in from an extremely rude customer, who was angry and swearing from the get-go. At one point, he was asked to hold on a moment because B had to put in his credit card number a second time because one number was wrong. The customer was politely asked to ‘hold on a moment; I made a mistake with your card number and have to put in in again.‘ His response was to yell, “Oh, yeah, that’s the problem; maybe you should go home and study next time!” If you’ve ever spoken to my child and heard her voice – especially over the phone – you KNOW you are speaking to a child and not an adult – and this jackass thinks he has the right to speak to a minor like that? I asked B if she told her manager about this customer, and she said no. When I asked why, she said, “Because I made a mistake.” This bothers me. First of all, I think my child needs to stand up for herself a little more in general; I have always ...

13 WHOSE SEXUALITY IS IT, ANYWAY? My older daughter grew at a faster pace than most girls her age. Because of this, she was sent home from school more than once because of an outfit of hers that was deemed ‘inappropriate’ – even though all of the Dress Code guidelines in the school handbook were followed to the letter. In fact, we took the time every single school day to measure skirt and shorts lengths and shoulder strap widths. What a waste of time that was if I still had to take time out of my day to go to her school to argue with the Vice Principal about her clothing. Why? The answer I got from the vice principal was that her outfit “looked different on her” than it did on other girls in her class. - how fucking stupid was he to actually come out and say that? I guess that depends on your perspective, doesn’t it? Just  how  was her teacher looking at her? Is that her fault? Is it her fault if she looks ‘different’ in her outfit than other girls do? School d...