The Christmas Card Trap

Six years ago I started doodling as a way to work through grief. I had filled two notebooks with my own ranting and then, surprisingly, ran out of things to say – but I still needed to keep busy. I grabbed a Sharpie marker off of someone’s desk and went from there.

I was doodling for a long time. People saw me and started asking me to make doodles for them, to help design tattoos, and even create website logos. Then the ‘adult coloring book’ became popular (I still read that wrong) and someone suggested I try making one of those. My doodling became 'a thing'.

I don’t send Christmas cards. That year, I happened to doodle something Christmas-y and on a whim sent out copies of it as a card. Not too many people got one, either.

For some reason, my cousin Leona really liked it – I mean, really. And I thought, that’s nice.

Until the next year rolled around and she told me she was expecting another. Sheesh. I made one – under duress – and hated how it came out, but sent it basically to shut her up.

The pressure was really on the following year. It’s not easy for me to come up with an idea for a specific drawing; if you asked me, I would tell you I can’t draw – and I can’t; I doodle. Doodling takes up no thought at all, because there’s no plan, no theme, nothing. Having to come up with something specific is hard because I only doodle (and trace the occasional coffee can to get a circle). On top of all that work, I have to print them and cut them to fit the envelopes. It’s an all-day thing easy (and that’s after I’ve made sure I have enough printer ink and paper).

And then my computer updated itself and disconnected itself from my printer. No cards that year, but a silly blog post (read here: 'Twas a Problem with Updates - No Christmas Cards This Year)

The next year, I made a token few and sent them out – again, pretty much just to shut Leona up. Last year there were no cards because I was too busy mourning a bad haircut.

This year, I actually got an idea for a card design. Without pressuring myself, I sat down with my markers and made it – and didn’t think it was half bad. I scanned it into the computer without a problem and had all the ink, paper, and envelopes I needed. To not completely wipe out my ink, I printed four images per page.

I was only planning on sending out my token few, but they printed up so easily that I had a few extra and decided to send them out to more. Then, I realized that I couldn’t send it to this specific person and not that specific person – so I printed out some more and it went from there. And even though I had stamps, they weren’t Christmas stamps so I had to go buy them … Hours passed before I was done!

It got way out of hand, and despite the fact that I sent out a large pile of them I know that someone is going to ask where theirs is – especially if I’d sent them one before.  THAT is the trap. It’s like being the person who never shows up at a party with food and one day decides to cook and all of a sudden it’s expected of them. Sheesh. I’ve spent my whole life avoiding that pitfall!

So, Leona, that’s it! IF I send them out next year, you will get one. IF.

Despite my whining, while I’m not a fan of Christmas cards in general  I will admit that there were times I got one from someone I hadn’t seen in years and having something tangible from them was nice. And, too, having a special card from someone who is no longer here is also special.

Okay. Maybe I’ll keep sending them.

Or maybe just once in a while.

Or maybe just once per person.

I didn’t have this problem before, Leona!