See Something? Say Something – better yet, DO Something!

I’m a professional chauffeur. Today I had to pick up a young girl from her school to bring her home. The school is not your typical school building on its own property; it shares a parking lot with a few other businesses, so pickups need to be structured. Basically, all the parents and guardians wait in line in their cars until they get to the front of the line and their child gets called to the car.  The pickup cars are in two lines, with two rows of parked cars between them. I am in my car in the right line, which is considered the first line because it’s closest to the building.

While I’m waiting, I notice a man from the left line, parallel to me (with two parked cars between us) jump out of his car and run up to the front of his line. I see what looks familiar to me: two parents show up for one kid, or a child/parent swap. I looked in front of me and moved my car up when the car in front of me moved forward, then looked over at the swap – and realized I had completely misjudged what was going on. The man was shouting and swearing and yanked open the back door of the car and pulled the child out. The female driver then got out and I see the child grab her around the waist and hold on tight. The man’s shouting got worse. I looked at all of the other parent cars, the four between his and hers, the ones in front of hers, and the ones in front of mine. From what I could tell, everyone was paying attention to this scene. The man is probably about 6 feet tall, the woman about 5 feet and the child just under 4. When the man started yelling worse, I opened my door and yelled that I was calling the police, and someone else honked their horn. Then, I saw him punch downward – and then again, and it looked to me like he was hitting the child – even though he was yelling at the woman. I’m fairly certain he was hitting both of them. I didn’t think about what I was doing then, and just got out of my car to run over to them – I had to stop him from hitting them. I noticed a lot of cars honked their horns then. When I got there he had cornered them between two parked cars on the other side of their line and his girlfriend made it over to them and was between me and him. I couldn’t get to the woman and child, and the girlfriend was making a show of trying to pull him away, all the while defending that he was the child’s father. I was still trying to reach in to the woman and child, yelling that I was calling the police and telling him to keep his hands off. I realized that I couldn’t make the call because I’d dropped my phone when I ran from the car. 

Then, two men came out of the cars towards us. One of them said to me to call the police. I waited until a larger man (I think a teacher from the school) ran over and managed to squeeze in the middle of the brawl, then ran to my car to make the call. The police showed up in minutes, the teacher at least seemed to be able to stop any more punches from being thrown, and the other two guys were there. Meanwhile, the child I’m supposed to drive home gets called to my car and now I’m responsible for her and I have to leave.

I wanted to stay and give a statement to the police, but since the situation was being handled and because I couldn’t involve another child in it I left to drive her home. I’ll be honest; I cried the entire twenty-minute ride – the young girl in the back seat could not see my tears, and I was able to talk enough to her about ‘normal’ school things.

After I dropped her off I immediately called the police because I wanted to report everything I saw, but was told I had to make my statement in person. I was already out of town and I was told that the police officer got enough witness statements to ‘do what he had to do’ – and I was still working. (I’m going back tomorrow to give my report in person.)

I cried some more for that little boy, and the woman holding him. I cried that things like that were still happening. At one point the guy actually yelled, “I’m his father! I know what I’m doing!”

WHAT THE FUCK??

And then I started to get very, very angry. First, at his girlfriend: what kind of moron would defend the behavior of an animal? And then: did she really think that she would always be safe from that kind of behavior directed at her?

And then, I got angry at myself. That I didn’t do more. That I didn’t climb on top of the car that was in the way and kick him (and his fucking girlfriend) in the head.

And I cried some more, for all of us and the ways that we think we are able to justify that kind of abuse. I cried especially for that little boy.

And then I was just angry, angry, ANGRY at the world. It was while I was mentally beating myself up for not bringing my phone with me to call the police sooner, for not catching the brutality on video, for not being able to squeeze between them that I realized I was even angrier at a few other people: those that sat in their cars and did nothing, other than maybe honk their horns. I was the first person to run over, and I had a further distance to run with parked cars between us – and I was FIRST???

I even question the motivation behind the two men that came up shortly after me. To be honest, I didn’t consider them helpful at all. I got the impression that neither planned to go ‘first’ and that they only made a move because a mere woman showed them up.

Remember the tough guys/bullies in the old TV sitcoms who were always followed around by their little stooges? The tough guy would say something threatening, and the little bootlickers – still behind the tough guy – would poke their heads around the guy and ‘back him up’ with their big boy deep voices, “YEAH!” 

That was how effective those two guys behind me were. Visual support?

All those other people in their cars who just SAT THERE AND WATCHED.

When our flashing highway signs are not warning us of winter weather conditions, laws regarding seatbelts, texting and driving sober, they are flashing: SEE SOMETHING/SAY SOMETHING.

That is not enough in all circumstances.  There are times when we have to DO something.

I still don’t understand how anyone could watch a larger man throwing punches at a smaller woman and child and just sit there. How can we not feel compelled to help? Do you really think that we are that disconnected from each other? I’ve seen more people get concerned and involved when a dog was kicked. We value each other less?

Don’t people understand that we are together in this? We all are both the blame and the absolution, the problem and the solution. Let’s think for a moment about first world problems. There are times when we need help, and times we want help (whether or not we are too proud to ask for it). If we looked closely and honestly, we always get some type of help from another – whether we see it or not, whether we want to see it or not, or whether or not we’d just rather complain about that fact that the people that we believe are supposed to help us didn’t (which is always the biggest block to our ability to see that someone gave something). We will never get what we don’t give.

Think about your child, mother, sister, or friend being in that situation. Who do you want to be around? The person that sits in their car and watches, or someone who actually tries to do something? Wouldn’t you pray that there would be someone around who would help? If you are the type who ‘doesn’t get involved’ I wish you and your family luck.

Some of you may rush to judgment with statements about people putting themselves in certain situations, ‘causing their own problems’. Hello, all of us do that; we are just sometimes more selective about the problems we create. To think that anything around you has nothing to do with you, remember that what goes on in your world goes on in your world, and you do have a responsibility to correct what you can and protect who you can.

I’m not angry anymore, but I am very, very sad.

If you see something, say something.

More importantly, do something.

For Christ’s sake, DO something. 




Thank you to the Chelsea Police for showing up fast.